so i ordered pizza in, one of those 2-for-1 things from papa john's (they make rather good take take out). when they arrived one of them had pepperoni on it. well, i don't eat meat and i certainly hadn't ordered any on my pizza. i looked at the order slip and it said one of them was a "mtfp" pizza. in their genius they had invented a system where every topping is abbreviated to the first letter. of course, pepperoni and pineapple both start with 'p'. the kitchen obviously assumed pepperoni. *sigh*
but of course i didn't open the boxes until i got back in the house and by that time the delivery person was gone. so i phone the pizza shop up again and explain the situation. the proposed solution? i can keep the pizza and they'll give m $5 off my next order.
me: "well, but i'm not going to eat this pizza. i don't eat meat. nobody here eats meat."
pj: "but we'll give you $5 off your next order!" (tries to appeal to the desire for savings, assuming i order in pizza a lot, will make do with this pepperoni pizza and can't do math)
me: "that's nice, but i'm out a pizza here. $5 is less than the cost of one of your pizza. i'll even have to buy more of your pizza to get that $5, and i'll still be out 2/3rds of a pizza in value. and i don't want to buy more pizza, i would like the pizza i ordered because i'd like to eat now."
pj: "we're down to one deliver person right now and they won't be back for probably an hour." (hoping i'm into instant gratification; which is a safe bet in this country)
me: "that's ok, i'm fine with waiting. we've got one pizza here, we'll make do with that for now and you can send the other pizza on when the delivery person gets back."
pj: "um. ok. i suppose we could do that. you don't want $5 off your next order instead? i could put it right here in the computer so the next time you order it'll automatically come up!" (how could i turn down such a deal twice, right? watch me.)
me: "no, that's alright. i'll just take the correct pizza in an hour. thanks."
it arrived in 30 minutes. and since the delivery person didn't want it, i'll be giving the pepperoni pizza to the homeless people down the street.
(side note: if you're in germany and see "pepperoni pizza" on the menu, it's not pepperoni sausage by hot peppers. yep. a pizza with hot peppers as the main topping. tastes better than it sounds at first, but certainly surprised me and confused the person who must've thought i was completely daft as they explained it to me. the conversation went something like: "what do you have that's vegetarian?" "we have pepperoni pizza." *pause* "no. vegetarian. no meat." "pepperoni pizza." "pepperoni is meat." "no it's not." "it isn't?" "no." "what is it?" "pepperoni!" *confused stares* "you know ... little yellow hot vegetables.")